It’s Always Sunny in The Office

 What are you?

 Hi. Um, I’m a recovering crackhead
and
I’m a… full on rapist. 
This is my retarded sister that I take care of. 
I’d like some welfare, please.

Wait, that looks like a dick

 Replenish your fluids.

I need to drink.
I play the banjo
Loud and clear
I will eat your babies, bitch.

Why would anyone go to jail for that?

I feel like I’ve known you many lifetimes.
If you’re in my room, you’re always being filmed.

And that is not because he is black.
You’re definitely gonna end up doing gay porn.
How’s that ass feel?
Some days I never go outside.

I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.
Everybody hates me.

You’re a stone cold fox.
You were a good whore.

Wanna go get sweaty in the bathroom?
You think a pirate lives in there?
I am out of ideas.

When I’m dead, just throw me in the trash

 Later, boners.
That’s what she said… Or he said.

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